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WO-MAN of the House

Writer's picture: Amanbir KaurAmanbir Kaur

How often do we catch up with friends or family, only to find ourselves sharing stories that highlight everyday biases? Recently, a friend shared how, during her home renovation, she'd carefully instructed the workmen on the changes she wanted. But at the end of it all, they turned to her husband for that final nod of approval because, well, he’s “the man of the house.” Sadly, this isn’t a one-off story—it’s all too common, whether in blue-collar or white-collar jobs, where the decision-makers default to being male.


Have you ever encountered this bias?


To be honest, I can't recall any such instance. It’s not that it might not have happened with me; it just wasn’t a mental block for me. I grew up with a brother, and we were raised with the same encouragement, the same discipline, and the same support. Sure, I had to be home earlier than him, which on the surface seemed like a “girl thing,” but I always saw it as my family wanting me safe. Even now, married and carving my path, my father calls to push me towards my goals—not because of my gender, but because he believes in my drive.


While writing this blog, I remember a conversation I was having with a friend - we were discussing our financial and life goals, when I mentioned that I work just as hard to support myself. He replied, “It’s not like you have to pay EMIs,” a comment that carried a surprising gendered tone. I think he was trying to insinuate that my expenses would be taken care of by me family. An assumption he made but we all know so many guys who are living on the luxuries of their family. What’s interesting is how this was turned into a gender-based conversation, whereas for me, it’s simply a lifestyle choice. If you desire a new car, you pay for it, enjoy it, and embrace it as something that brings you happiness.


Of course, biases do exist, some working for us, others against. But here’s my advice: walk past them. It’s easier said than done, but try. Next time, be the one to hand the cash to the workmen and set the terms clearly. If they look over to someone else for permission, remind them that you’re the WOman of the house! :)


The journey from woMAN of the house to WOMAN of the house might be challenging, but it’s possible. It’s tough only if we give it enough thought to hold us back.

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